Synopsis: Chase Summers: Golden boy. Beautiful girlfriend, good friends, and a promising future.
Nobody knows the real Chase.
Chase Summers has a razor blade to his wrist and the smell of his lover’s goodbye clinging to his skin. He has a door in his heart so frightening he’d rather die than open it, and the lies he’s used to block it shut are thinning with every forbidden touch. Chase has spent his entire life unraveling, and his decision to set his sexuality free in secret has only torn his mind apart faster.
Chase has one chance for true love and salvation. He may have met Tommy Halloran in the world of gay-for-pay—where the number of lovers doesn’t matter as long as the come-shot’s good—but if he wants the healing that Tommy’s love has to offer, he’ll need the courage to leave the shadows for the sunlight. That may be too much to ask from a man who’s spent his entire life hiding his true self. Chase knows all too well that the only things thriving in a heart’s darkness are the bitter personal demons that love to watch us bleed. – via GoodReads
Review: I’m a little torn on how to rate this one. On one hand, I did like it. However, the middle made me grouchy, and not really in a good way.
I love angst, love it. I have no problem reading a book chock full of it, to the point where it’s overflowing and threatening to drown me. Imagine my surprise when I thought I had met my match. I don’t like to be beaten, I’m too competitive to let someone else win. So, clearly, I had to come back stronger and let this book know who was boss. 😉
That’s when I figured out it wasn’t the angst I didn’t like, it was Chase. And not in the way you might think. He was actually a heartbreaking character. I’m not a total bitch, I did feel for him. 😉 Really, I did. What bothered me in the middle was the tedious repetition of how unworthy of Mercy he was, how useless, and generally awful person he was. I get that, in this situation (or anyone in this situation for that matter), he probably said that to himself often. I just don’t feel I needed to hear it that often to understand his pain and anguish. On more than one occasion, I wanted to yell, “I freakin’ get it alright? Stop beating me over the head with it!”
Having said that, once we got past that and into the incident around 70% or so that literally changes his life, the rest of the book flew by and I loved it. Honestly, it’s what saved the book for me. The writing style almost didn’t work for me. Once I got to the latter part of the book, I understood it more, but it was still difficult to follow at times. I never really felt lost per se, but it wasn’t as smooth as it could have been I guess.
So overall, I liked it, and would probably recommend it with the caveat not to give up if you find yourself in a similar mindset, it does get better.